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Home home.

We are back home after having Christmas at home.

Meaning we are back in Hot Home after spending Christmas at More Home. We also drove past Home Home, just to make sure our tenants hadn’t burnt it to the ground.

Or we are back in Singapore after spending Christmas in Australia.  We also drove past the house we used to live in and still own.

Confusing for other people but perfectly understandable to other expats.

When you move out of your country the definition of home expands.  Home is the residence where you live in your new country but home is also your home country.

It’s where my heart is but it’s also where my stuff is.

Shopping Advice

Our bathroom hoard.

I’ve posted before how shopping has brought me to tears more than once.  And that’s just regular, grocery shopping.  Clothes shopping here when you have a ‘built for comfort’ Western body is pointless and ego damaging.

Anyway, grocery shopping does become easier over time and one of the big tips I give anyone is that if you see a product you like or use regularly then you should buy as much of it as you can!

 

The vast majority of goods here are imported and arrive by the container load, so while the supermarket is fully loaded today there is no guarantee it will be tomorrow.  And once a product has sold out you have to wait for the next shipment.  That could be tomorrow, next week or several months time.  There was a Vegemite drought last year that caused issues for Australians, and there was much Facebook rejoicing amongst my American friends when a random shipment of Frito’s (Honey Barbecue flavour) flooded every Cold Storage in Singapore.

So, if you see it, grab it! It’s very much “first come, first served” here.

The Glamorous Expat Life

Most people when they close their eyes and think of what “The Expat Life” is like imagine travel, cocktails, pools and glamorous locations.  Lots of pampering, lots of money and lots of time.

I’ve been told more than once that my life is “glamorous” and it seems people really don’t want to hear the full truth but are content in their belief that my life is a shiny, happy one. Quite frankly, that bugged me but I couldn’t quite articulate my feelings, until last night when I was watching the George Clooney movie “The Descendants” and the opening lines really, really resonated with me.

My friends think that just because we live in Hawaii, we live in paradise. We’re all just out here sipping Mai Tai’s, shaking our hips and catching waves. Are they insane? Do they think we’re immune to life? How can they possibly think our families are less screwed up? Our heartaches, less painful?

I have sipped cocktails. I have travelled more in 18 months than I did in the previous 38 years. I’ve sat by numerous pools and even had a few massages.

But these are just the bookends of my life.

Expat or not, I still referee my kids insane bickering bouts, clean skid marks off the toilet bowl, make the beds, curse every member of my family for their complete inability to change a freaking toilet roll, do the grocery shopping, attempt to keep my children out of the bathroom when I am on the loo, fold the laundry and do all the other bits and pieces that every single person on the planet does to keep their life moving.  Family crises still happen (and there has been the mother of all of crises in my extended family of late), people and pets still die and hearts still break.

It really is “same shit, different country”.

If you’re a prospective expat and are looking forward to the move to escape the “everyday” of your life in your home country, then you’re going to be disappointed.  But if you keep in mind that the “everyday” will travel with you to the new country but still get out and soak in the “newness” of your new destination then you’ll probably do just fine.

If you’re an expat already then I’m certain you know what I’m talking about here.

And if you know me from Australia you should know I am wearing my oldest, most worn out Suzanne Grae shorts with a tank top that has Gravox smeared on the front. Soooo glamorous!

The Expat Marriage

I am no marriage expert. Heaven knows I bump along in my marriage with my fingers crossed that we are going to “make it” (not sure what destination “make it” is? Not getting divorced before one of us dies, I guess) but the past 18.5 months have taught me a few things.

Mainly that moving away from everyone and everything you have ever known will test your marriage in ways which you will not, and can not, expect.  In the beginning stages it’s exciting and new and kind of like a holiday.  In the early days it’s invigoration, with both of you working together to figure out and shape your new life. Exploring your new country of residence is fun and you throw ourselves into playing tourist with gusto.

However, that level of excitement can’t be maintained and you will soon move into “normal life”.  This is the bit where all the “stuff” (good and bad) in a marriage that was there before the excitement of the move took hold will rise up.  Add to that a spouse who is often travelling for work more than he/she is home and a marriage can become wobbly very quickly indeed.

So, the moral of the tale is that your marriage will not get easier when you move overseas.  Just like a having a baby will not fix a wobbly marriage, neither will moving to a new country.

PS: I can’t downplay the stress that moving overseas has put us under but we are together and happy with each other the majority of the time.

Unusual Singapore Things #13

Businesses close down with no notice.  Here today, gone tomorrow with not so much as a sign in the window to let their customers know.

This is OK with restaurants (2 favourites have vanished in recent weeks) but my local “walk in” doctors have disappeared without a word of warning, taking with them our medical records.  Now, I’ve never known a doctor’s surgery to disappear before but what I would expect is a letter in the mail informing each patient in advance.

Maybe this is too much to ask?

Advice

The strangest thing has happened.  People (via the blog and also friends of friends of friends) are asking me for advice on moving to Singapore.  Not a plethora of people but a few.  It seems a little weird, as to me I’ve only been in Singapore a blink of an eye, or so it seems. But in reality it’s been almost 17 months. Which is almost 1.5 years so maybe I am qualified to dish out advice?

I can not give advice on whether or not people should move to Singapore from their home country as that’s a matter for each individual person.  It’s a hard road, but for us it’s been totally worth it.  My attitude has always been “If it all goes to shit we will pack up and go home again”.  Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

So assuming you have made the decision to jump into an expat adventure here are some tips that may or may not help you:

• know what your entitlements are before agreeing to move.  If it’s a company relocation check the contract and then do your research to make sure that what the company is offering will cover your needs.  Having a decent housing allowance, top notch medical insurance, school fees and transport allowance will make things much easier.  We wouldn’t have moved if we had been financially worse off, and it;s too late to negotiate an increase once you’ve signed a contract and are in Singapore!
• a relocation company (ideally paid for by the company) will take many admin errands out of your hands, even though they will at times drive you to distraction. Having someone else do the work permit, customs, shipping and all the other bits and pieces will save you the pain of trying to figure out some of the bureaucracy in a new country.
• try and do a “Look See” trip before you move as this will help you get a feel for the place.
• you will cry.  You may even cry in the supermarket.  Or maybe that’s just me?
• Singapore does not have “one stop” grocery shopping and this was my biggest frustration here.  It now seems normal to scout all areas of Singapore just to do the groceries, but it made me irrationally stabby in the early days (and still does on a bad day).
• there are no “bad” areas to live in Singapore.  All have their pros and cons, but you will pay more in “Expat” areas and less in “local” areas.

It’s by no means an exhaustive list but it’s enough to get an idea of what people should be thinking about BEFORE they move.  If you have any questions leave me a comment and I can email you back. I don’t use my name or my email address on my blog as there’s too many freaks out there in cyber lan!

The Expat Olympics

Many, many years ago (well it was really only 12 years but anything before kids feels like it happened in the Middle Ages) I was in a country other than Australia during the Olympics.  Two other countries to be precise – Kenya and Tanzania. Or you could argue it was 3 as Zanzibar likes to think of itself as a different country.

So, anyhow, I was out of Oz for a fair chunk of the Sydney Olympics so all of my Sydney memories are tied up with my Africa memories.  I learnt of Cathy Freeman’s gold medal on a bus in Tanzania, and I attempted to explain Bananas in Pyjamas during the Closing Ceremony to the bewildered staff at our hotel in Zanzibar.  I’m pretty sure they are still puzzled over that.

But I never really watched the Olympics from Africa like I have watched them in Singapore.

Intellectually I knew that all countries tailor their Olympic coverage to the tastes of their populace. Australians like swimming, cycling, diving and athletics. We like them even more if Australians are competing, and even more if we are winning.

Singapore likes table tennis, badminton, table tennis and table tennis. Yes, table tennis. And they won 2 bronze medals, so they are pretty darn good at it.

I have tried, valiantly, to think of my Olympic viewing as an exercise in cultural differences but…. but..