A Funny Thing Happened At The Gyno…..

As it’s THAT time of year again (Christmas, in case you’ve managed to miss it!), so I have retold the story of a casual teacher last year telling Miss 8’s class the truth about Santa many times.

This post isn’t about that, but it sparked a memory that I had buried.  I would have repressed it as when this happened I was not wearing pants and had my legs in stirrups.  I tend to try not to remember what happens when my legs are in stirrups.

Not these sort of stirrups!

I had quite a few gyno trips last year and one of them must’ve been last December as I can recall sharing the whole ‘teacher exploding the Santa myth’ story with my gyno and his nurse (who is also his wife) whilst having a colposcopy.  A colposcopy requires you to be pantless with your legs in stirrups and the doctors face about 10cms from your vagina.

So, there I am, legs in stirrups, the nurse (his WIFE) holding my hand while he was doing whatever it was he needed to do, chatting about Christmas. As you do.

And then the doctor STOPS doing whatever it is that he is doing, makes EYE CONTACT with me and tells me how he discovered the truth about Santa.  All within 10 cms of my VAGINA.  With his WIFE holding my hand.

I think I had become so accustomed to this situation (it was an ongoing thing, thankfully now fixed) that it did not seem at all bizarre.  In fact, it’s taken a year to realise just how HYSTERICAL the situation was.

5 thoughts on “A Funny Thing Happened At The Gyno…..

  1. You have to laugh about gyno visits, it's the only thing that helps with the mortification!His father was a teatotaller, so they left out milk. Every other kid in the street left out beer. He joined the dots.There really should be some sort of Santa Guidelines out together for every new parent so that we all have a cohesive story, don't you think?

  2. As special as it was for you, I'm sure it wasn't a notable occasion for Doc & his nurse wife. Your vagina is just another day at the shop for them. Oh but eye contact? Bit creepy. On the other hand, it shows he remembers there's a person attached to that vagina, not such a bad thing after all. 🙂

  3. Pingback: This Week (or Andy Warhol and my cervix…..) | Our Big Expat Adventure

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