Why?

People are in one of two camps when I tell them we are upping sticks and moving to Singapore  there is a look of jealousy or a look of ‘you are completely and utterly out of your mind, woman’.

Strangely, no-one from the latter group has actually asked ‘why?’, but I know they are thinking it.

The easiest answer is “well, why not?”. But I’m going to try and outline a proper answer, so here goes…

When my husband first raised the possibility of relocating overseas for a few years my first, primal response was “not on your nelly, mister”.  We had a comfortable, settled life in outer suburban Melbourne and throwing all our cards in the air and having them land any which way just seemed insane.

Over the next week I pondered the opportunity and a little bubble of excitement started to fizz in the bottom of my tummy.

Yes, we were comfortable and settled, but when the prospect of a bit of adventure appeared I no longer felt so content with my lot.  An adventure sounded appealing.

Neither of us are massive risk takers. I couldn’t see either of us throwing in our jobs (assuming I had one), selling our house and backpacking around the globe with kids in tow.  So this particular adventure – an overseas relocation with M’s work – appeals to us. Adventure, but in a controlled and planned way.

I’m also not someone who feels the need to follow the pack if it’s not going to make me happy.  My high school English teacher wrote a written reference that included the line “K does not succumb to peer pressure”. I wear that with pride. I don’t feel any need to keep doing what we were doing just because that’s what most people do.  My husband is cut pretty much from the same cloth on that score.

For most people it’s the fear of leaving family and friends that is the big stumbling point to jumping into something like this.  I’ve lived in a different state to all of my family for 17 years, so I will not feel the wrench as much as my husband will.  Sure, there will be times when we will miss them, but I wouldn’t swap this opportunity for the handful of days we spend with extended family during any given year.

And friends. In complete and utter honesty there are maybe 3 friends who I will truly miss, but we don’t see each other that often anyway given all of our work/kids/life commitments. We will rely on email and facebook, which is pretty much what happens now.  In even further honesty, there are quite a few acquaintances that I’m looking forward to dropping.

I’m not looking forward to the process of making new friends. And all the figuring out of who are and aren’t ‘my people’.  But I won’t let fear hold me back either.

I want to give my kids a broad and varied childhood. To teach them tolerance, acceptance and understanding.  Which can be taught just as well by staying in Australia, as it’s all about leading by example, but it’s still on my list of reasons.  I suspect they will adapt faster than I do.

I’m looking forward to having our life just be the four of us. To be free from familial expectations and traditions. To carve our own way in the world, sing our own song, sail our own boat.  None of us can carry a tune or can man a tiller, but I’m sure you get my drift.   To find out who WE are as a family.

So, as I sit on the back deck of our holiday house during what will probably be our last Aussie summer holiday for sometime, these are the reasons we are standing on the edge of a precipice,  about to launch ourselves into a new phase of our lives.

POSTSCRIPT: I asked my husband why he wanted to do this, his answer was “It will be a good experience.” Which is really the bottom line…..

Advertisements

8 thoughts on “Why?

  1. I wish you if-there-is-a-God-speed in your adventure, KJ. My husband has run the concept past me a few times and you must be made of sterner stuff than I. (Plus leaving beloved pets behind & apartment living were dealbreakers for me). I look forward to reading of your highlights and the rest. My best x

  2. I think you would have to put me in the jealous camp – I think its fabulous and I admire your adventurous spirit. Having a blank slate for your family to write on must be very exciting. i hope we will get to hear about every step??

  3. Oh put me in the “you lucky things” category!!!

    What a great way to get away from the family/school/friends pressures that can build up.

    AND nobody can get grumpy with you for not coming around/going out/missing coffee dates/not saying hi at the shops etc because you have the best excuse in the world 🙂

    You’ll have a great time. Your family will have a ball and you will all come back stronger for it.

    Just appreciate that you’re not living out of a backpack for 2 years.

    A

  4. We had many people ask us the same question when we moved from Perth to Brisbane last five months ago. It’s a big adventure, though not an easy one. We’re all missing the extended family, but have appreciated so many people reaching out to us. Thank goodness for Skype, Facebook and twitter 🙂 All the best with the move!

  5. Hi there and welcome to “the Little Red Dot” …… I know at this point it may seem daunting to “making new friends” , but you will. There will be people here that your perhaps wouldn’t normaly get to meet, but take the opportunity to meet ‘new’ people anyway .. we don’t bite!!

    I see you are already friends with Laurel and Andrea, so you will certainly ‘not be alone’ …. anyone of us are here to help / advise / guide you where and when needed without sticking our noses in if not wanted!

    Singapore is a great place to live, I moved from Melbourne in February 2007, the ‘plan’ was to be here for two years, but that flew by as did three years and four years and …. ???

    who knows?

    There are loads of positives for living here, too many to name …. and yes, you can chew gum and yes you can have a live in maid (I don’t) or you can have a daily maid or a weekly maid …. life here is easy and you just go with the flow….

    I shall enjoy following your adventures via the blog, should you wish to follow mine it is at blogger (as opposed to WordPress) and the URL is:

    http://leonefabre.blogspot.com/

    though at the moment it is full of a recent European trip, you need to scroll back a bit to find the Singers stuff!

    my email is:

    leonefabre AT gmail DOT com if you want any help at anytime!

    Good luck, Leone

    • Hi Leone,

      Thanks for stopping by. I have kept an eye on your blog for quite a while. I remember you posted some photos from Woolamai Beach once, we have a holiday house there, so it’s a special place for us!

      I’m sure I will have a million silly questions about Singapore stuff, I just need to get this packing and winding things up bit done first! x

      • Looking back on all the packing (etc) it just seems so far away ….. it was exciting, a bit daunting and yes, a bit scary too ….

        like WHY!!

        But once here, the excitement of new places etc, you will feel settled in … there are many blogs you can follow and even Facebook ‘groups’ of traveling with kidz in the area. Can send those to you (eventually) so you should never feel ‘abandoned’ …

        as for the “holiday House’ …. yes that is hard to leave, we have one in Blackwood and I cried the day we left there. But it is a distant memory now – not that I have forgotten it of course and we have a long term leasee in it – but other memories take over and we ended up buying a holiday house close by here … never thought I would do that either!

        But life changes as does what you think and feel about things.

        hang in there and you will be here soon.

        If you need anything, just yell. Any of us will help. Even if you need an Agent to find your apartment, we can give you a few honest ones!

        Things here are NOT WRONG … just different. As you will soon see.

      • That is my mantra – not wrong, just different!

        Life does change. We never planned or saw ourselves moving overseas but when the opportunity came up we leapt at it.

        We were in Singapore last week for 3 nights and did a whirlwind of house hunting. We are waiting to hear back from the relocation agent as to whether we secured our preferred place. The rental process is so very different in Singapore and we were lucky to have a bit or prior knowledge thanks to your blog and a colleague’s wife who is an Expat agent over there. WE have our camera ready to snap away at any pre-existing damage prior to handover!

Anything to add? I love to hear your thoughts!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s