Treading Water

treading wa·ter : a stroke that keeps the head above water by thrashing the legs and arms. (

tread water : to be active but without making progress or falling farther behind (
Well, I’m not thrashing my legs and arms (and a sore back has prevented me from moving much at all, but I’m on the mend now), but I am active without making progress or falling farther behind.  So, I am defintiely treading water.
Which is massively annoying and frustrating and is sending me slightly bonkers.
There are hold-ups with our lease but please don’t ask me what as our relocation/property agent seems to think we should not be worried by details. Either that or she doesn’t give two hoots about it.  We first put in our Letter of intent for our chosen house around the 20th April – over 5 weeks ago – and yet a lease has not been signed. *sigh*
So, we’re in a serviced apartment and being well looked after, the kids are happy-ish at school, but the treading water aspect of life at the moment is getting me down.  It’s neither a holiday nor is it real life.  I don’t feel free enough to laze by the pool, drink cocktails and chillax, and yet I can’t move forward to buying furniture and settle into our home (because we don’t have a home and no-one can/will tell me when we will have a home).
(Apologies for the sooky la-la post but it’s how I’m feeling and I needed to get it out.)

10 thoughts on “Treading Water

  1. *throwing a lifebuoy* now hold on while i chat to you.
    1. You are not a sooky la la
    2. You are transitioning in a HUGE life shift
    3. You are also “treading water” & holding onto an 8 yo & 4 yo
    4. You …the wife & the mum …. have a far more challenging role than anyone in this life change. The arranger, the culler the placater, the carer, ad infinitum

    That you are having the commonsense to vent using your writing is a sure sign you have worked out “how” to manage the ” what” even though you are ready to jump over a counter at ManPower office (imaginary or real) or ram the phone down the agents throat.

    The hardest thing is loss of “control of what you have always had in your world” I absolutely get it. I can only offer support & words. You have to experience it. Sorry Kel .. D xx

    • Thanks for your lovely comment, Denyse. I’ve worked hard this week (hub was away) to give the girls a routine and that has helped them enormously. Once we sort out the lease – or hub’s company & the landlord sort it out – we can start doing freestyle.

      (Interestingly, The Ministry of Manpower that organises visas was extremely efficient and a pleasure to deal with! Not sure the same owuld be said for the Aussie Detp of Immigration….)

  2. You are exactly where you should be! As frustrating as it is your feelings and the sense of treading water is normal. Infuriating but totally normal! The company that handles all of our moving didn’t tell us anything either. My life was totally in someone elses hands and it sucked! I hope you get the lease signed soon. It helps to have somewhere to call “home”. Hang in there, it gets easier or at least more normal.

    • Hugs. This was also my experience…frustration at the lack of control, not having our container of stuff to make it feel like “home.” It’s always a rough start. You’re doing great.

    • Thanks, Laurel and Crystal. What did people do before the internet put us in touch with others in the same boat? It must’ve been a rather lonely and scary experience launching into the Expat world. x

  3. That support…at the end of the on-line world is always here for you…as I know you are for me…The On-Line Caring is awesome.
    My NEW website is up…softly launching..a few bits not happening yet.
    memoriesbydenyse is still up there but all posts have now been categorised and gone over to: (original title)
    So, you would be ‘hopefully’ still a subscriber..but if you didn’t get a ‘new post’ email then it hasnt worked. I posted last night to see how it all went.
    Can you let me know so I can tell Laura who has done the ‘behind the scenes’ stuff.? Thanks so much K XX

    • Hi there,
      I subscribed to the new blog, but only using my WordPress reader thingy, so I don;t get email updates. YOur new post did appear in my timeline, though. It loks great! x

  4. I hope you don’t mind a random person commenting on your life. But, I know just how you feel. I have been an expat wife in various places (and soon to be Singapore – which is why I have been reading your blog!). What you feel is normal – maybe not normal for you, but normal for what is going on right now. Know that you are doing everything right in the situation you have right now. I feel like my life has been a waiting game for a long time and trust me, it doesn’t fit my personality. I am such a planner. Be thankful that you have two children to help ground you during this time. My daughter is now grown up and she wasn’t there for our last location. Is a totally different story when you are all alone day after day. Anyway, back to you………just realize that this is temporary, recognize that your feelings are valid, and maybe, just maybe, you will want to have that drink by the pool!

    • Hi Kim,
      Thanks for visiting my blog. Since getting this all off my chest I am trying to just live from day-to-day, and you are 100% rigt, my girls to give each day a focus. They are pretty much happy here and that is a big achievement. Let me know when you’re here, I’d love to meet up! x

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