I don’t normally write motherhood posts. It’s not that I have anything against ‘mummy bloggers’ but this is an Expat blog and I try and limit myself to ‘Expatty’ (that is so a word!) stuff, but I need to vent.
The Big Missy is on her very first school camp and she has had the good fortune to be overnighting at Singapore zoo and doing some pretty amazing behind the scenes stuff. She has been incredibly excited for the past few weeks, and we drove up to school yesterday with all her gear chatting about all the fun stuff that was going to happen.
Then we got her gear out of the car and said hi to her friend.
Then my stomach dropped. I had bought her a ‘foam mattress’ as per the information note, about an inch thick and the sort you’d find on a foldaway bed. Pretty much everyone else had a yoga mat, which (I guess) also fits into the definition of ‘foam mattress’.
She got upset and I felt like a complete idiot. How did I miss that?
From that moment on I have been swimming in a pool of mother guilt.
I had a restless night wondering if she was OK and hoping that she wasn’t getting picked on for my massive stuff up.
I also know that I have blown this out of all proportion as by the time I left her to board the bus she was playing with her friends, laughing just like she normally would. The other three girls in her tent were excited that they would all be able to take turns on the big comfy FOAM MATTRESS and all was right in the Big Missy’s world again.
But mother guilt reared its ugly head and won’t leave.
For me, the killer of camp is that my child – to whom I have spoken to every, single day of her life – is completely out of contact. I have no idea if she fell exhausted into a deep sleep after her evening at the Night Safari, or if she sobbed herself to sleep.
how the heck am I going to cope when she goes away for a couple of nights next year TO A DIFFERENT COUNTRY?
*melodramatic mummy rant over*