Riding Solo

In August, 2002 I finished work 6 weeks before the scheduled* birth of my first baby with no clear idea of when/if I would return to full-time paid work.  I sit here 9 years and almost 6 months later never having returned to full-time paid work.

It wasn’t planned, but I was blessed that we could afford this luxury and that I enjoyed being home with my little girls.

But, today I lost my little sidekick.  I waved her off to her first day of big school with a big, proud smile and a cheery wave.

I didn’t expect to feel a little bit of grief when my last chick flew the nest and went to school. I thought I would feel light with relief that I was now free to set in motion all the things I’d yearned to do butmy right hand feels strange without a chubby little hand nestling perfectly in it as I go about my day.

I will adjust. I have to.

Little hand snug in mine,
Walking, dawdling,
Spending time.

(* Ahhh, the best laid plans. Finished on a Friday, hospitalised on the Sunday and my 3lb 15oz first born arrived the following Saturday!  So much for some “me time” before giving birth….)

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4 thoughts on “Riding Solo

  1. Gorgeous post, Kel. Another milestone for you both. And all that ‘free time’ you think you’ll have? Come back in a couple of months and tell us how you’re spending it.

  2. Not that it will help that much, my youngest is 12 and he still takes my hand every now and again. I love it each and every time. Pretty soon, though, my hand will be nesting in his. That will be tough to swallow.
    Niki

  3. I am wondering if I will feel like you too. 12 years for me and in September I will have 4 in school. I am expecting to feel the relief but like you may find myself caught off guard by some less happy feelings.
    Michelle xx

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