I am no marriage expert. Heaven knows I bump along in my marriage with my fingers crossed that we are going to “make it” (not sure what destination “make it” is? Not getting divorced before one of us dies, I guess) but the past 18.5 months have taught me a few things.
Mainly that moving away from everyone and everything you have ever known will test your marriage in ways which you will not, and can not, expect. In the beginning stages it’s exciting and new and kind of like a holiday. In the early days it’s invigoration, with both of you working together to figure out and shape your new life. Exploring your new country of residence is fun and you throw ourselves into playing tourist with gusto.
However, that level of excitement can’t be maintained and you will soon move into “normal life”. This is the bit where all the “stuff” (good and bad) in a marriage that was there before the excitement of the move took hold will rise up. Add to that a spouse who is often travelling for work more than he/she is home and a marriage can become wobbly very quickly indeed.
So, the moral of the tale is that your marriage will not get easier when you move overseas. Just like a having a baby will not fix a wobbly marriage, neither will moving to a new country.
PS: I can’t downplay the stress that moving overseas has put us under but we are together and happy with each other the majority of the time. 🙂